Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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