we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
