FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
