After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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