why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Randomize
