I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Alive.
So much puke
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
