$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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