At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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