Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
