Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I cut my penus on the lid.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
