can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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