FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
