Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
