people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
