She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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