That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
