Got a toothbrush?
you win again, gameday.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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