I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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