Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
