I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
