is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
