So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
