I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
