Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I accidentally had phone sex last night
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Randomize
