At least make sure they are 18
Why
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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