dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory