I must be too annoying 4 u.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.