"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?