You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
