I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
