It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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