do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
