Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
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Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
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I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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