I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
