The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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