i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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