Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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