i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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