For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
