if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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