I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
