actually, I'm a sock model
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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