I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just pee around me
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
