I think im going to throw up on grandma
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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