Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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