You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
