You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You've changed since you got that strap on
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
