Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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