this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
