After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
