I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
