We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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