Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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