I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
