There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
How does one acquire holy water?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
