evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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