he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize