you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
