According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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