i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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