I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
they need to just BURY HIM!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
