she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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